Stop Stopping Yourself

Your mindset is fuel.  It can propel you to greatness or into a ditch.  Think about it.  When you’re determined to do a thing, what makes you go through with it?  Your mindset.  Now where you end up, that’s a completely different thing.  But for now, let’s look at getting a hold of your mindset and using it to move in a positive direction.

When you receive an opportunity, how do you react?  Here lately, I’ve started noticing my inward feelings and my outward actions.  I’ll hear about an opportunity and my mind quickly goes to work, rolling it over, examining it like a jewel, assessing its value, looking for flaws and the significance of those flaws.  Sometimes the opportunity is put back on the shelf, others it’s snatched up because of its potential.  But that’s just how I see it.

So here’s the dilemma:  if you can only see negative at the moment (that’s easy for me at the time because I’ll be honest, I’m in the midst of a transition so there are things that try to bring me to a place of frustration.  So I have to “check myself” often) you are putting yourself at a disadvantage.  You are using your fuel (mindset) to go to a place you really don’t want to be.  If you don’t want to end up with negative results, why use your fuel to go there?

Ok, am I sounding crazy?  Feel free to tell me.  I’ll just cut to the chase.  Here’s some things that must stop for you to see positive change in your life:

Talking yourself out of success

When a situation arises, focus on the positive.  Even if it looks like failure, stay focused.  Even if things don’t work out, what did you learn?  Who did you meet?  Who did you help?  Who helped you?  What information did you gain through the process?  Be sure to focus on those things.  Learning is never failure unless you don’t use that info for later.  What we think of as failure is actually information to put in our toolbox to keep going.

Sometimes you just need to rework an idea or use different methods to get there.  Having a longevity mindset (think years instead of days, generations instead of a few years) can change everything and put you in a place of legacy instead of being a blip on the screen.

Cheer yourself on.  Go back to the initial place of inspiration.  What prompted you to try in the first place?  Even if you have to change the plan to reach the goal, keep trying!  Believe!!!

Don’t give up before you even begin!  Don’t give up when you start!  Don’t give up when you’re halfway there!  Don’t give up when you’re so close to the end!  Don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments along the way and at the end of the process!!!

Making excuses

“I don’t __________” (have the money, know how, have the connections, have the time, have the energy, know who to ask, know where to go, know what to do, have what it takes).  You didn’t know the ins and outs of sitting up, but you do it.  You didn’t know how to roll over or crawl as a baby, but you know how now.  The point is, you have a ton of potential, resources and support that you just need to tap into.  Make the effort, not excuses.  God made Google for a reason.  Get to Googling!

Being a slacker

I can’t STAND laziness!  I can’t.  Don’t get me wrong, there are areas that I’m just trifling with.  Thank GOD for my husband.  He’s truly my match and my other half.  If he didn’t do what he does, this house would be in a shambles.  I don’t do the majority of the dishes or vacuuming.  I don’t.  I ABSOLUTELY HATE doing dishes and vacuuming.  When I was a kid, those were my 2 chores and I had to do them over and over until they were perfect.  I mean the lines had to be a certain way in the carpet or I had to do it all over.  Now THAT’S how you make a kid hate something for life.  But I digress.  I hate doing it, but I still help.  I will go get the replacement bags, put the vacuum away, make sure the kids vacuum their rooms and even though I really don’t like it, I suck it up and vacuum.  I do those stupid dishes even though I hate it.  Thankfully, there are parts my husband hates doing that doesn’t really bother me.  I play my part and suck it up when I have to do it all alone.  The relationship and the functioning of the household are more important than my feelings.  Once I saw that, I had a different mindset about it.

Allowing discouragement to stop you

Man, look.  A lot of things take time.  Sometimes you get what you want quickly and wonder what in the world you were thinking asking for it in the first place.  Life is interesting that way.  Take it all in stride.  One thing that truly helps is taking the focus off of yourself.  What can you do to help those around you?  Be there for someone else.  While your back is turned helping others, the Lord will help you!

I really want you to have a life you enjoy.  I didn’t say have the perfect life (like that even exists-we have no idea what we really need).  But really sit back and look at where you are and where you could be.  You can take that statement both ways.  If you’re happy where you are, be grateful!  Express it to those who are the reason for that happiness!  If you’re not happy, look at where you could be and make plans to get there.

Nothing is stopping you but you.  YOUR mindset.

Love & blessings!

Tonya

Regroup With Joy

I have a ton of what I call “crap piles” in my house.  Before you freak out, it’s just what I call those piles of papers, random sticky notes & receipts that I scoop and dump into drawers when people come over or when I need to get to something else.  Since moving my office back home, there are no less than 15 now.  Yeah, it’s pretty severe.

But all is not lost!  I have found a way that I can get a lot sorted in a little time.  I used to try to think of everything then make labels, sort and put away.  Not any more.  I sort as I go, making piles and then when I get finished I make labels then put away.  For some of you, this was a “duh!” but it took me forever to learn to sort that way.  I don’t know why, but it seemed like I had to figure out what to do before I got started.  But now, using this method, I see it’s easier to start and then adapt as I go along.  Uh oh…uh oh…did you just see that revelation?  Yeah, you can’t see to the bottom of the pile when you’re starting out, sweetie!  So just keep going, stay diligent and when you get to the end, it’ll all be sorted out.  It’s ok to not see everything.  It can be overwhelming!  But just hang in there, it’ll all work out!

Sometimes It Doesn’t Work Because Your Destiny Is TOO BIG!

Y’all I’m finally getting it.

Why I didn’t achieve what I expected so many times.

It’s too big.

You can’t cram into a space that wasn’t built for your destiny.

It explains the haters, the side eyes, the awkwardness, the broken friendships, the time I felt was lost.  I wasn’t the wrong person.  I was in the wrong place.  I wasn’t in the wrong time.  I wasn’t where I could be appreciated, relished & grown.  I wasn’t too little, my destiny is TOO BIG.

I recently learned this when I stepped out on faith in 2 different ares of my life.  I had been afraid of rejection and being to asked things I couldn’t figure out how to accomplish.  So for a long time, I didn’t do the most basic, first steps.  I tried to go around foundational procedures to avoid hurt.  It was self sabotage.  The other thing I did was trying to fit into a small mold.  Why did I do it?  Because I was scared to fail.  But by being scared to fail, I set myself up for failure.

Consider a plant.  It needs 3 things: sun, soil/water (some plants can grow in just water) and space to grow.  You can even check these things in the Scripture.  Remember the story of the thorns/weeds and the plant?  If you’re in the right place, you will thrive.  No doubt.  That’s the good soil.  You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.  But you can still learn and help others even if you’re not in the right place.  So let’s look at some situations that (if seen on a regular, systemic basis) are red flags.

If you’re not planted (you’re still on the outside looking in-refuse to invest, stop researching & start moving, not participating), birds will come gobble you up (things sent by the enemy).  These can be distractions from others or using resources for other things.  Some of us spend our seed money (cable, phones, shoes, hair, nails, cars, houses, others) trying to look like we’re successful instead of planting the seed and getting a larger harvest than we ever imagined.

If you’re cramped (rocky soil), you won’t.  You have too many obstacles to navigate around and it will sap your resources (time, energy, money, etc.).  Look at all your places your money goes.  Look at where your time is spent.  What do you spend your energy doing?  Where you spend your time most is where your priorities are.

If you’re too close to others, you won’t get enough nourishment because you’re having to compete with those around you (weeds/thorns).  You’ll pop up fast, but have no place to root and ground you so that when droughts come you have something to tap into and get enough nourishment to sustain you.  The heat of the situation will hurt you.  Some friends aren’t friends.  Some colleagues aren’t even that.  Some folks are just in your way.  Check your crew.  Make cuts and start recruiting.  Your team should be strong.  They should push you and direct you when you get down or need help.  If they’re not on your team, they shouldn’t be so close to you.  Watch as well as pray.

You need sun to help you through the processes.  That’s the Lord.  He is the sun (Son), the way by which you can do all things.  Notice how plants always face and even lean to the sun?  It’s because they know where their help comes from.  They turn to their source to stay alive and thrive.

Enough is enough.  Stop downplaying what you are, what you’re meant to do and be.  You are a bad sister and you know it!  You can be humble and still be a phenom.  Look at Jesus.  The baddest dude around and he’s chilling with sinners left and right.  Was He scared?  No.  Did He dilute himself?  Nope.  So what are you doing?  You can’t put Jesus in your heart and NOT be off the charts!  So instead of hiding, shirking, whimpering and cowering, step out and shine!  We NEED YOU!  Stop trying to find some other identity to fit into because you’re scared folks will cut and run on you.  Bump them!  They’ll figure themselves out and you can have a lunch convo about how it all worked out for your good later.  But for now, go out and be the bad-*** you ARE!

Love you & many blessings,

Tonya

The Next Phase

Hi guys,
Yeah, I went MIA again.  We had to complete a phase of life that just took so much of my time that I just got off balance.  Just being real.  I had prayed, asked, declared, decreed and it seemed to get the upper hand.  However, when I asked for the Father’s perspective, it became very clear:  training.  A stepping stone.  A launching point.  Which is definitely not the end of something He himself promised!  If you have something in your life that He has promised (some of you may have notebooks and journals full of things He’s promised), then it WILL come!  It may not come as you asked, expected or believed, but it will be so much better in quality and/or quantity than you could ever have imagined.  Take hope and peace knowing that from before the foundation of the earth, these things were established.  Stay focused on prayer and serving others genuinely.  Pray for them like you’re praying for yourself-earnestly!  Take time to revisit the promise.  Sometimes we miss it because we thought He said this and He actually said that.  Write down what He says so you can refer back to it.  Take time to reflect.  Take time to appreciate.  Take time to teach others around you what is going on and how to handle it.  I didn’t say tell them all your business, but be a help and an encouragement to those who are or may go through what you’re experiencing.  People are looking at how you handle your setbacks, pauses and blocks in life.  You have been put in their life to be a help in some way.  If the door has been opened by the Father for you to share, don’t be afraid.  You’re covered.  You’re provided for.  You’re enough.

I hope this post has been a help to you.  I’ll be back when I can.  Thanks for hanging in there while I navigate this phase.  I pray your phase goes smoothly.  Always focus on Jesus.

Love you!

Tonya

 

 

 

Business Series: Advice, Warnings & Blessings Part I

You’re still reading these things?  Well, aren’t you a soldier!?  LOL  Ok, seriously, thanks for coming back.  If it’s your first time reading the posts from the Business Series, be sure to go back and catch up.  Even though these videos are very informational by themselves, sometimes the order is important.  Here’s the video feature for today!  There’s also a part 2.

For Those Selling PRODUCT, Listen To THIS!

I’ll be honest, I had a mini rant at the beginning of this video because of some business owner drama.  If you’re interested in some REALLY great information, just get past the first few minutes of craziness of this video and there are some real nuggets there.  The questions you need answered about vendors, pricing and other annoying but relevant topics, LISTEN TO THIS!

How I Plan a Month’s Posts in 30 Minutes or Less

Hey everyone!  I’ve posted this on FB already, but thought it was a worthy share.  Here’s some awesome tips for you that may help your month go a bit smoother.  Enjoy!  (Also, if you have tips, PLEASE SHARE!!)

  1. Find something that inspires you and write about it.  Your daily walk in the park, having a great cup of coffee when you finally decided to change brands, whatever.  We wanna hear about it.
  2. Those catchy mugs, tees and pictures with slogans in your house?  Write about how they make you feel.  Someone else wants to hear about that.
  3. Random insightful moments are GOLDEN.  Take time to write how you feel about them!
  4. Don’t reinvent the wheel.  Find inspiration from other’s posts & revamp them!
  5. Work backwards.  Start with something that makes you feel.  Then write about it.
  6. When you don’t have time to write, make a list of “stuff to write about”.  I used to keep a jar of ideas on my desk where I’d always write.  It was so great to pull an idea when my well had run dry!
  7. Recall a silly memory.  Tell us about it.
  8. Ask someone else what’s interesting, troubling or inspiring to them.  That’s a month of posts right there.
  9. Do your kids do crazy, goofy or really dumb stuff?  Child, that’s worth its weight in diamonds!
  10. Pull out the Bible and stick your finger in it.  Read where your finger rests.  Write about what the Scripture says to you.

Ok, that’s probably enough to get a few good posts going.  What ideas or methods do you use to get your creative writing going?

Tonya