7 Ways We’re Being RUDE Without Realizing It

Hi everyone!  I’ve got 7 things that may just change your life.  Every been passed over for a job & wondered why?  A person you clicked with never respond to you?  Left out for no apparent reason?  Lose a client or business opportunity after a lunch date?  Sometimes we miss out on some good things because we’re being rude & don’t realize it.

  1. Disregarding/Modifying people’s names.  Dictating a nickname or rendition of a person’s name because you refuse to pronounce or spell it correctly is rude.  Sorry, it is.  You are expecting a person to answer to whatever you feel like calling them?  Um…no.  Put yourself in their shoes.  Now, if you’ve made a valiant effort and they suggest you call them a nickname, then it’s usually cool.  But keep trying to pronounce it correctly.  It shows respect & gets you respect in their eyes as well!
  2. Putting a customer’s change on the table when it was placed in your hand.  I know some people could care less, but for many people, this is a huge cry of disrespect without saying a word.  I hate it myself.  If I put my money in your hand, put it back in mine.  If I lay it on the table and slide it to you (usually it’s because I’m digging out correct change in that chasm I call a purse-time to swap out again), then you can reciprocate.  However, being in & from the South, this was often a clear sign that someone disliked you & even more so, was racist.  Nope, I’m not paranoid, it’s been clearly displayed, explained & confirmed (even by the culprit) that that’s the reason it’s done.  It was someone’s way of telling you that you were beneath them & they didn’t want any contact with you. I won’t go any further into all that.  Just trust me.  So if you’re doing it but that’s not your reason to do it, you may want think about the silent message your sending.
  3. Passing items in front of someone.  Let me clarify.  You’re passing paper to Bob.  But Mary is sitting between the two of you.  Don’t pass to Bob up under Mary’s nose.  Pass to Mary & ask her to pass to Bob.  Otherwise, you’ve invaded Mary’s personal space. Another example is in the food/service industry. A server should not reach past your face if at all possible to serve a plate. If they have to (if you’re sitting in a booth, for example), they should verbally say “Excuse me” before extending the dish at all.  Nobody wants boobs or pits in their face when they’re trying to eat.  Well, not normal people.  Then again, I don’t know what your bag is.  But do it at home if that’s your thing!

4. Bodily functions in public.  Ok, I thought I’d never have to actually list stuff like this, but let the list of grossness begin!

  • Blowing/picking your nose at the table.  No, baby, excuse yourself if at all possible & come back when you have your nasal issues under control.  If you’re in a meeting or eating with friends, family or coworkers just ask to be excused.  They’ll probably be happy you did.
  • Putting your just-blew-my-nose-in-it hanky in your pocket.  Um, no sir!  We don’t put snot in our pocket.  We also don’t use our now snotty hand to interact with other people in any way.
  • Not washing hands after using the restroom or blowing your nose.  I’m not even going to talk about the first one.  The second, some people at least want you to use hand sanitizer.  Nope!  I need you to WASH your hands to get all particles off, please.
  • Using another person’s property (especially keyboard or office equipment) when you have a cold or other illness that can be transmitted by touch.  I’m not saying you’re the Ebola monkey when you’re sick, but that’s the overall ick factor when you touch things knowing full well you are ill.  If nothing else, use hand sanitizer before & after touching (you don’t want their eeew-iness either).  Do I need to say this one?
  • Keep your private business private.  Don’t fart or scratch your privates (pits included) or God forbid, adjust your privates in public.  THAT’S WHY THEY’RE CALLED PRIVATES!!!  We should not see them or see you interacting with them.  Sorry guys, I know this may cramp your style, but that chick you want is not thinking “Oooh, he’s so sexy when he burps, farts, scratches & digs like that!”  That’s why you can’t get a number, call back, or second look dude.  Clean it up!
  • Keep your personal areas clean.  Check your personal hygiene before interacting with people.  That includes your teeth, nose, hair (it can hold odors), clothing & other areas.  You don’t want to give people the mental image of Pigpen from Peanuts when you come around!

5. Cutting people off when they are speaking.  Y’all, I almost killed a lady about 5 years ago for that mess.  Ok, not killed, but I was seriously considering punching her in the face.  We were at a networking event and she’d pop up & butt in everywhere I went to start a conversation.  I thought I was being paranoid at first, but after the 3rd time, I knew it was her, not me.  The craziest thing was, she was an ETIQUETTE COACH!!!  YES!!!!!!!  I was done, y’all.  The most awkward part was that she wanted everyone to sign up for her classes & was cutting people’s conversations off to hand them out.  Wow.  (side note:  I am guilty of this.  Y’all pray for me.  Sometimes I am scared I’m going to forget my thought if I hold it.  Just pray for me, y’all!)

6. Interrupting people at the worst possible time.  This is when you approach someone to do something when they’re obviously busy.  My husband & I are notorious for doing it to each other.  I’ll ask him questions during a game on tv & he’ll interrupt me when I’m playing on my phone/tablet.  It’s rude.  I’ve thought & prayed about this one.  This is why we do it:  our mind isn’t engaged in the activity the other person is performing.  If I was engaged in the game, I am less likely to ask an unrelated question.  Same goes for him.  But we solve it by using the pause button like crazy.  I mean if I had a nickel for every time one of us hit that pause button, nobody’s kids would have to pay for college!  It’s ridiculous!  But it’s how we deal with it.

7. Saying, “I know you’re busy, but…”  Just stop!  Don’t do that.  Don’t pile more work on someone you know is already busy.  Try some other options.  Can you do it?  If so, get to it.  If you can’t do it, find someone who is not busy, not as busy or just wait a bit.  If it’s urgent, say so (but don’t lie just to get your way).  Finally, try to find one of those bums sitting around doing nothing and give them something to do with their life!  THAT’S who needs something to do!!!

Lord, let me compose myself.  Whew!  Ok, my soapbox is away now.  So, this is my 7 (I feel a sequel coming on already). What habits do you see that you can add? Are there any I listed that you agree with? Disagree with? Are they more cultural than actual rudeness? Share and we can all learn together! Thanks for stopping by & I’ll write again soon. XO,

Tonya

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