Sex, Cussing & a Bag of Weed (The Conclusion)

Hey guys.  You’ve made it to the last installment & I know you can’t wait.  I would drag it out and build even more suspense, but if you read part 1 & part 2 I know you can’t take it any more!  Plus some of you have my phone number & I know you’re going to call & get on me!  So let the conclusion begin…

I left off with us talking to AAA.  We finally get them on board and decide to return to where the Uber guy dropped us off.  We get lost AGAIN!!!  I hate parking decks.  I can’t blame the deck, but I do.  It was just trauma.  And another 20-30 minutes of trying to find where the heck we came in!  Then Jesus dropped a light bulb.  Why the ham sammich were we trying to get back to where we were??  Just tell the driver where you are and let them figure out how to get there!  DUUUH!!!!

So we get Uber on the line again & go outside to get picked up.  In no time flat!  It was 3 minutes y’all, I swear.  So here comes the Uber guy.  In a Buick.  Wait, that’s a Buick?  They’re not playing in that commercial!  I want one now.  I really thought that you had to be at least 50 to drive one, but the hubby & I discussed it.  It’s in our top 5.  This guy was so nice.  We told him how our day was going & he was rolling.  Mainly at how he’d have to get on the highway, get off the highway then off again because our car was facing westbound & we were on the eastbound side.  Thankfully we saw the AAA guy pulling up to get the car as we passed it to turn around.  He dropped us off & unfortunately I couldn’t tip him.  I gave the first guy all my big bills ( a whopping $10) and the cafeteria got my last $1 for those cookies!  So I prayed for him (let Jesus bless him.  He can do much more than I can, right?) & we were on our way.

Next enters Chris the AAA guy (who is probably snapchat famous by now-I’ll explain in a moment).  Chris is a little 20 something cutie with a blond crew cut.  Who almost got squished by several cars on the highway.  THIS DUDE decides to hook up the car on the side where the traffic was!!!!  Oh my God.  We’re praying in tongues at this point.  Jesus, send angels and put their wings around this man!  He tells us we can sit in the cab (in the A/C) & hooks up the car without incident.  While he’s working we’re fooling around while she’s trying to help me squeeze in the back seat (I found the second side door at the end of the trip).  Sheer genius.  So Chris hops in and we start heading for home, making polite chit chat along the way.  And that’s when we see her.

A little girl (early 20s) driving along with her friend and both of them are on the cell phone like they’re not in a car or on a highway or anything!  So Tiff is like, “Look at this girl!  She’s all on the phone texting and supposed to be driving!!  Lord, she’s gonna kill someone.”  Chris to the rescue.  We had already passed her (I guess driving was less important so she wasn’t going the speed limit on the highway-bogging down traffic so she text/browse/post) so he slowed down.  He was just going to tap the horn & tell her to get off the phone.  But oh no!  This chick decides to flip him the bird!!!  So he keeps hitting the horn.  Did she quit?  No!  Worse!  This girl turns on the camera AND STARTS FILMING THE TRUCK!  Yes.  SHE’S MAKING A VIDEO WHILE SHE’S DRIVING!!!!   He kept blowing the horn.  She kept filming.  She follows us for miles and she’s randomly flipping people off and filming the AAA truck.  Now she goes around to the other side & her friend flips us off.  Now both flip us off.  Now her friend starts filming.  Now the best part (I shouldn’t say that, it’s kind of mean to say).  Her friend takes a big cup and hurls it at the AAA truck.  What happened?  THE ENTIRE CUP FLIPS AROUND AND THE WHOLE CONTAINER (of whatever is in there-hope it was water, tee hee) & BLOWS INTO HER FACE!  That car must have been soaked inside because that was a huge cup.  Needless to say, she has to take the next exit to clean up.  I haven’t had a laugh that good in a while.  Even though I felt bad for her.  What kind of day was she having that she would flip someone off for trying to save her life?

A few minutes later we’re back in our home town.  Thank God.  Chris drops us off at the mechanic & we are quickly met by my husband, my mocha hero.  Unfortunately for him, he had to hear Tiff & I retell this crazy story all the way to her house and the rest of the way home.  I’ve had crazy incidents before, but half the time he doesn’t believe me.  He thinks I make this stuff up.  I think next time he’ll believe me!

So I guess you figured out how this 3 part series got its name.  Yes, this was a Harold & Kumar movie without the sex, cussing & bag of weed.  I hope you enjoyed it!  I’m just glad that my life is back to its normal level of crazy.  Until next time…

Tonya

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