Stop Obsessing Over Your Kid’s Grades!

Hi guys,

In my latest post I talk about grades. My husband & I have decided to completely stop stressing about our middle child’s grades because of the school system’s practices. Our children are given assessments, tests & quizzes so often that we all of us were overwhelmed with trying to keep up. Between the emails, conferences, Class Dojo posts, notes home & verbal communication, we were spent. The grades at school weren’t lining up with the benchmarks & the homework wasn’t matching what they were doing in class. It was like a circus. Well, more like a magic show with sleight of hand. We’ll say this, but do that & all the while you don’t know what’s going on until, boom! The year is over & your kid ends up where the school says & there’s no proof to use to come to bat for them because the bulk of the papers sent home aren’t part of their grade. Anyway, since we’ve taken the “not gonna worry about it” philosophy, some interesting things have happened.  Instead of grounding, withholding and fussing because of the letter grade, we’re focusing on him LEARNING.  That means looking for improvement in UNDERSTANDING as opposed to grades.  He may get a concept a week after the test, but dang it, HE GOT IT!  So now we’re doing more discussing, encouraging & supporting.  Even if he doesn’t understand, it’s ok.  He made an EFFORT!  He has his own old school learning style (repetition & hands on, but an avid reader but not great on writing descriptively) & I’m seeing observations from his teachers, but very little modification of teaching style to meet him where he is like old school teachers did.  Anyway, I don’t want to spoil the video, so just check it out. Leave me a comment & tell me if you’ve experienced something like this & how you are dealing with it.



Critical Tips on How to PROPERLY Take a Mental Health Day (Part 2)

Hey my peoples,

I forgot to give you the tricks to the trade. I’ve learned over the years to put my mental health days on a need to know basis. And if you’re the one causing me to need a mental health day, you don’t need to know when I take one! Check my video on Facebook to hear more…

Question:  Do you like videos or text better?  I’m flexible.  But I wanna give the people what they want!  So let me know below what you want to hear more about and how you want to hear it.

Take care!!

Take a Mental Health Day

When was the last time you took a mental health day?  The last time you were completely immersed in doing absolutely nothing?  The last time you took care of only YOU?  The last time that YOU were the only thing on your to-do list?

We all need a mental health day now and again.  The frequency and type you need depends on many factors like, what is your:

Personality type?

Job responsibilities & workload?

Home life?

Stress level?


Support group?

Ability to handle stress?

There are probably even more!  But the point is, take a look at your present state of mind. Are you calm?  Focused? Stressed? Overwhelmed?  Overstimulated?  Worn out?  In the “dead zone” (like when we were new parents, that’s the place where you were so sleep deprived and malnourished that you were barely alive, much less functional and couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel that everyone swore existed).

Anyway, I have been looking at what I’ve been doing and realized that it just isn’t working. I’m a child of God. I should always be functioning from a place of rest, not stress.  You don’t stress when all your needs are met, your battles have been won and you are safe and healthy. No, when that is the case, you are at peace!  So, I have come to the conclusion that it’s not my status or standing in  God that has changed, it’s my mindset! And that has to change.

I’m taking time to get back to the basics.  Quiet.  Listening. Receiving.

Not stressing, pressing and striving.

If you’re in this situation, you know what I mean.  You’re always trying, getting, making, doing, doing, doing.  But never really at peace or rest.  Don’t get me wrong, being at rest can occur while you’re doing stuff.  You just f~l~o~w.  It’s a wonderful place!  So wonderful that you know when you’re not there.  It looks like this


NOT this

Picture2 Picture5 crazy

Or finding yourself sitting in the dark crying, looking like this.


So let’s stop this mess before it starts.  Take a day.  Turn everything off that’s electronic.  Pray, sleep, eat a good meal THAT YOU DIDN’T COOK, wash your hair (or go get it done) or just go nuts & buy YOURSELF underwear & socks for once-the pretty ones that cost too much, YES!

No matter what your rest looks like, REST.  Then repeat.  Stay in a place of peace so you can not just function, but thrive & excel.  Effortlessly.  Contrary to popular “grind”, “no pain no gain” or the “give-til-you-can’t-give-any-more” teachings, God is glorified by a rested vessel that serves beautifully as opposed to a cracked pot leaking everywhere!

Take care of yourself,



It’s My First Facebook LIVE VIDEO! Dollar Tree, Five Below, Trader Joe’s Reviews, Updates & More!

Hey guys! I thought I’d take the plunge into video land! If you’d like to see all my crazy live & in color, check out my FB page, Tonya Joyner Speaks. I’m giving reviews on some Dollar Tree, Five Below & Trader Joe’s items. I’ll mention some other things too. So check it out and let me know what you think. I hope you like, comment & share it!  Don’t be afraid of my expression.  Let’s just say, not everything I’m reviewing has 5 stars…lol