Monday Mom Tip

Don’t CREATE drama.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it?  Yeah, you’d think so, but sometimes we Moms jump in where we’re not wanted or needed.  This can cause unnecessary drama.  Try to avoid jumping into (or instigating) sibling arguments.

This morning trouble is brewing.  The middle can’t find money the oldest was holding for him.  Now they can find the wallet, but not the money.  My question was why the oldest had the middle’s wallet and money in the first place.  The oldest said so he wouldn’t lose it.  My final comment until further notice?  Your brother has to learn how to take care of his own things.

I know he was trying to be a good big brother but I’ve seen what happens when this goes on too long: big brother will have to save little brother the rest of his life.  There are exceptions to this and I think it should be reviewed on a case by case basis.  In this case, the middle just may take a loss and gain a few life lessons:
1.  Don’t expect other people to take care of your stuff.
2. Don’t expect other people to take care of your stuff as well as you would.
3. Money is a tool, not a toy, so don’t just leave it anywhere.

Oh yeah, the middle found his money.  Then gave it to my husband so he won’t lose it again.  :-/

Until next time, try NOT to kill your kids before they turn 18!

 

Do You Know A Control Freak?

I was looking for a friend’s blog and discovered it was gone. So I got on the phone to find out what was up. She said her season for blogging was up and that she’d moved on to other things.

What a timely lesson! Everything wasn’t meant to be forever. Somethings stay longer than others and some things come and go like waves. We must seek The Father to know the difference and how long to endeavor with these things.

But that’s not what her post was about.
Her post was about control freaks. I have been labeled one on many occasions. Sometimes it was an accurate label and sometimes the other person was being insecure. But anyway, here’s a great post about how to know if you’re one, how to realize if you’re dealing with one and how to deal with a person who is one (even if it’s you. Shhh…I won’t tell!)

Pursuing Jeremiah 29:11

https://pursuingjeremiah2911.wordpress.com/

At various times I have gotten into  heated discussions with someone (usually male) who says that I am a control freak.

Because I tend to acknowledge my faults, I think objectively when someone says this to me since this has been used to describe me on more than one occasion. I even ask my girlfriends about it.

Most of the time they say “You too? My husband and I just had a big fight and he said the same thing!” Then they proceed to tell me the conditions they laid out for their partners the next time they have an argument. Just kidding. Most of my girlfriends are not control freaks.

Nevertheless, I had to think about it, because it’s a running theme for most of the arguments I get into with my husband and we have a good relationship. So when I asked the Lord about it I thought I knew the answer I was going to get.

Me:  “Jesus, am I a control freak?”

The Master’s voice in my heart:  “No.”

Okay.  Well that was unexpected.

Me:  “Why do I seem to get upset at the unexpected and uncomfortable situations that arise?”

The Master’s voice in my heart:  “You want to feel secure, and you can’t because you are afraid of suffering a loss. This happens when you place your trust in your circumstances instead of me.”

That made sense to me. I need to feel secure.  I need to feel safe. I need to feel protected. And it all goes back to trust. If I really trust in the Lord, it doesn’t matter what my circumstances are. I must depend on Him alone for true security.  What I have to learn to do is refocus my insecurity in my circumstances to security in Christ. 

If you love someone, and they seem to be trying to control you or your actions in a way that seems over the top, find out what they are afraid of losing. They may not feel secure in the situation they are in-whether physically or emotionally. You may not be able to fix it. It may not be for you to fix. Depend on the Lord and pray with your loved one.    

Insecurity usually has its root in fear. We all fear losing something or someone. However, when we put our trust in Jesus, we slowly lose the need to fear, and we become more secure.  In Him.

…Perfect love drives out fear… (1 John 4:18)

The Lord is with you always. (Matthew 28:20)

Blessings!

Sharon

Faithfully Fit

At various times I have gotten into  heated discussions with someone (usually male) who says that I am a control freak.

Because I tend to acknowledge my faults, I think objectively when someone says this to me since this has been used to describe me on more than one occasion. I even ask my girlfriends about it.

Most of the time they say “You too? My husband and I just had a big fight and he said the same thing!” Then they proceed to tell me the conditions they laid out for their partners the next time they have an argument. Just kidding. Most of my girlfriends are not control freaks.

Nevertheless, I had to think about it, because it’s a running theme for most of the arguments I get into with my husband and we have a good relationship. So when I asked the Lord about it I thought…

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What Do You Do With Your Old Vision Boards? This is a MUST READ!

The Father gave me the BEST idea this morning.  Well, it was a memory and then an upgrade on the memory.  How about a VISION BINDER?!  I was honored to be the guest speaker for the New Choices Class graduation at the Women’s Resource Center of Greensboro (http://www.womenscentergso.org/).   While I was there, some of the graduates spoke about their vision binders.  When they pulled them out, they were the coolest thing!  It reminded me of when I was back in high school.  We used to put our favorite boy bands, crushes, art or whatever in the front sleeve.  It was a great way to be creative, express yourself and personalize your binder.  Well, why not do that but make it a place for your vision board?

If you’ve seen the movie The Last Holiday (starring LL Cool J and Queen Latifah), you know what I mean.  Her book was called The Book of Possibilities.  It was THICK!  It was detailed in some places and more vague in others.  Why am I mentioning that?  Because we often ask too much of ourselves when it comes to our vision.  It doesn’t have to be completely laid out.  You don’t have to have all the answers.  You’re not God.  Only He knows everything.  Could you imagine knowing everything about your life?  Personally, I have enough going on and don’t need more to think about!  Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Benefits of a vision binder as opposed to a vision board:

1.  It’s portable.  Could you imagine walking around with that board everywhere?  lol!!!

2.  It allows more expansion of your vision.  If your past boards are like mine, you have a million branches off each item.  With a binder you can insert more pages as your vision grows.

3.  You can view your progress all in one place.  That board isn’t very large.  And you can only see so much at a time.

Here’s what you need:

1.  A 3-ring binder with the clear sleeve in front.  Here’s one from Wally World for a decent price.

clear view binder walmartIf you don’t have one, you can use a regular binder and use glue dots to attach a clear sleeve to the front.  Trim off the white portion (where the holes are) and you’ve got a dead ringer.

walmart clear sleeves

2.  Clear sleeves for each year you want to house.  Don’t be afraid to make sleeves for future years.  Like the year you pay off your house, retire, your children graduate/move out/start their career.

3.  Computer paper in any color you like.  It’s your binder, make it as snazzy or conservative as you want!  You can use scrap booking elements, magazine cutouts, your personal drawings, photos.  Let your mind go wild!

4.  Dividers.  For those who have a more robust vision, you may want to keep the different years or topics separate.  For instance, I could divide my vision binder into a section for books, children (maybe they’d like to make one of their own once they see yours!), marriage, business, personal endeavors or whatever else.  Then they can be labeled chronologically within each of those areas.

Finally, here’s another great idea for your techies:  MAKE IT ELECTRONIC!!!  If you already made physical boards, take pics of them and upload them into a vision folder for your device.  You can make folders for each year or use an app like XMind or White Board (this is an online version I just found, but they do have White Board apps on Android & Apple)  to let you have as much space as you like to post your vision.  You can even make this year’s board your screensaver or background.  That way you see it more often and stay focused on your goals.

I did come across a blog where a lady made a vision binder that focused on her fitness goals.  You can check it out here.

I hope you’ve been inspired by today’s post.  Don’t forget to write the vision and revisit it often!!!

Then the LORD said to me, “Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.  Habakkuk 2:2 NLT

*I was not compensated in any way by Walmart or any of its affiliates.  To be honest, I don’t like Walmart (I go in there kicking and screaming about once a month-to be honest, even less).  But yeah, they could send me a few bucks for the promo. 

Monkeys & Pirates

I called my business mentor the other day with my usual dump.  To which she responded as she always does:  a verbal whooping with lots of encouragement to cool the fire.  One of her main concerns was my submitting to what she called “monkeys & pirates”.  What are monkeys & pirates you ask?  Well I’ll tell you this, you’ve had experience with both!

Monkeys are those things that jump up at a moments notice to grab your attention.  It’s usually over something unnecessary, silly or aggravating.  They preoccupy your time by creating unneeded distractions.  They can disguise themselves as phone calls, junk mail, email, unmanageable hair or “adorable” children.

Pirates are situation (or people) that bogart your time, energy, oppotunities or other things you hold dear.  What his bogart you ask?

verb (used with object)
1.  to take an unfair share of (something); keep for oneself instead of sharing:
2.  to bully or force:
He just bogarted his way into the elevator!
verb (used without object)
3.  to act or move in a tough or aggressive way:
That big guy doesn’t ask–he just bogarts.
noun
4.  a person who hogs or monopolizes something.
5.  a person who acts in a tough or aggressive way.
Also, bogard [boh-gahrd] (Show IPA).
Origin
1965-1970

Just so you know, I’ve just been pirated by my daughter and monkeyed by my son.  My daughter should be reading to my husband so I can write this post & my oldest just monkeyed through the door talking about some mail.  What was that?  My cell phone beeping?  Another monkey!  Yeah, they’re everywhere people!  So be on the lookout for monkeys and pirates.  Your job?  Take them out on sight!

What do you do when you’re attacked by monkeys and pirates?

Oh Lord!! I’ve Missed a Mom Tip! So…Double Portion of Tips

Oh my goodness!  Y’all, I’m so sorry!!  I forgot the tip this week…charge it to my head and not my heart.  So redeem my good name, here are TWO tips!

1.  For Pete’s sake, write the vision!

I’ve spent way too much time with 50 million things running through my head, just to forget something.  If you’re going to spend time praying about something, the least you could do is write down the answer when it comes.  That’ll free your mind up for other things.  Like DOING it.  lol!!

2.  Don’t be everything to everyone.

Evaluate the person, the relationship & the timing.  Can they do it themselves?  Let them.  Can you do it without personal harm or inconvenience?  Ok.  There are some cases (don’t let them get out of hand, be extreme, over the top or be on a regular basis) where you should go out of your way to help someone with something.  But when they become a monkey or a pirate (we’ll talk about those in the next post), time to tell them to keep it moving!

Ok, this post is a little less cushy-squishy that some of my others, but today is my first day back at work.  I wanted to drop you a line in case you needed a little encouragement before starting your day.  I hope you have a great one & remember how much God loves you.  He sent His Son to take your place!  So be sure to reflect on what that means.  You have health, provision, protection and more.  But most importantly, you have the love of a Father that never ends.  Believe that!

Love ya!  Until next time, don’t kill your kids before they turn 18!

If you enjoyed this post or my other posts, you’ll just adore my book that has over 100 tips, ideas & tricks on:

A5

 

Do You Ever Just Want to Keel Over?

If you don’t know what “keel over” means, let me save you the wikipedia search.

It means: To collapse or fall into or as if into a faint.

Yeah, now you get it!  I remember hearing my mom saying it when she was ready to fall out from exhaustion.  Well, today was my first day back and even though it was a good day, that’s how I feel.  It’s probably the combo of waking up around 5, going in at 7 (just to find a park-my job doesn’t even start until 9!), freezing rain, getting home around 2:30, eating super late lunch, now cooking dinner and the impending doom of homework time is upon me.
**Side vent:  teachers don’t understand what it does to parents to have multiple children in multiple grades doing their respective homework and having to help them all.  Yeesh!!**
Yeah, I want to keel over.  But the rest of the day beckons.  So what do you do when you feel this way?  Chug caffeine?  Sneak a sugary snack?  Take a power nap?  Say a little prayer?  I think I may try the latter, but man, is anyone else feeling the need for a snuggly blanket and a hot chocolate?
mug laptop