Why You’re Not Getting “It”

stairs stepsI was fussing at my child this morning (yeah, I admit it-I fuss sometimes) when I realized the instruction I was giving her was the exact point that God was trying to make to me.  She was told to do one of those everyday process (that it in my mind, should not have required much thought,  energy or expertise). However, she had somehow not managed to accomplish it. And to be honest, it was getting on my last nerve.  She wanted to run here and they are experiencing the joy and delight of childhood, but had not done the one small thing that I had asked her to do.  So, with my “mommy eyebrow” lifted (my advance warning system), I began to go on a mini rant about how she was not going to receive what she wanted until she’d done it.

Then, a miraculous thing happened.  As I was talking to her, God was showing me that it that was sit stairsthe exact reason I have not received what I had asked of him. It has nothing to do with how he felt about me, because his love for me was clear.  The issue was that what I had asked for required some steps from me.  And this was one step that I had refused to take.  In order to have progress and success, steps must be taken.  We can’t expect to move further if we’re not willing to move forward.  So what did I do? I humbled myself and did what I was instructed to do.  And what am I seeing? Blessings and progress!

What is it that God told you to do that you refuse to humble yourself and do?  The Father loves you.  You’re only keeping yourself one step further from what He wants to give you if you’re not following the instructions to your success.  So take the next step & see Him smile over you while you enjoy good success!

success

 

Are You Asking God For Something You Already Have?

This morning I wanted to enjoy some morning cool air.  It’s been hot and muggy in Greensboro & I wanted to sit on the porch before the sun started ramping up.  Well, I had one small snag in my plan.  I have 3 chairs on my porch that an abundance of spiders sit in gratefully.

  spider chair no web spider chair sun spider chair

 I know, I know, I could spray or squish them, but somehow that takes away from the nostalgia I’d set my heart on.  I decided I needed to buy another chair that I’d use just for sitting on the front porch.  I really thought this was a good idea.  So I mentally planned when, where & how I’d get it.  In all this planning, I went into my office to grab my tablet.  As I reached across to get it, I bumped into my chair…that had casters…and was comfortable…and was…there…(light bulb.)

I could hear the Father lovingly say, “You’re asking me for something that I’ve already provided.”  I had to say it “Yup, you’re right Father!  I need to pay attention to what I ask you for.   I don’t know what I need or when to ask for something new sometimes. I’ll just start by asking YOU.  I don’t know what I’m doing. I need you so much.”  I felt Him smile.

Now everyone’s happy.  My Father, me and the spiders.spider chair

So…

Have you heard of the finished work of Christ?   Basically, it means that everything is finished.  I mean EVERYTHING.  Ok, I’ll get a bit more specific.  Anything you can think of that needs to be done is already done from God’s perspective.  Sounds a little crazy, right?  It’s not.  God wrote all of what would happen to man.  It’s written already.  He already spoke it.  So trying to surprise God is like trying to surprise the author with the ending of the book they wrote!  He already knew because he literally wrote the book!

So think about your life.  If God has already said “I know the plans I have for you…” Jer 29:11 why are you worried?  Why are you stressing or carrying burdens that were never made for you to bear?  Medical science tries very hard to disprove the existence of God but actually affirms it daily.  One medical fact that stands in agreement is this:  our bodies were not designed to endure long bouts of stress.  It destroys our bodies.  It can actually kill us!  It steals our peace and joy.  It destroys our focus and determination.  And what does the enemy come to do?  Steal, kill & destroy.

Picture6Young Man with His Hand on His Foreheadsad

Think about it this way.  All of us have played games (board games or video games) where there were bonuses (extra spins/turns, powerups, health packs, gems or coins) that were on the path of the game.  Our life is like that.  God has left grace & mercy for strength, comfort, patience, provision & more all along the path He’s already walked out.  He’s even measured the weight we’ll carry & tested it out for us!  Man, He’s good!  It seems like the proper response to His goodness would be gratitude for taking the stress, worry & struggle out of life.  So let’s honor Him by saying thank you & by telling others about His abounding love for all of His children!

 

 

Are You Random or a Victim of the 80/20 Rule?

Hi y’all.  I’m having a moment of clarity.  Today I got phone calls, emails, IMs, etc. asking me to do things.  Now just to shed some light on the amount of work I do (with my part time working self), I’ve been called “the hardest working least employed person” some have ever met.  Yes, I work part time, have my own businesses, am in multiple ministries at church, write books, have 3 kids & a husband (I take care of myself at some point), so I am busy.  But what do people say when they call me?  All together now…

“I know you’re already busy, but can you help me…”overwhelm

And I love it…sometimes.  I love it when someone genuinely needs help & God leads them to me.  I will bend over backwards and j0302950jump hurdles for God to be glorified in your life through what He’s skilled me to do.   But what ticks me off?  People who try to use me or say I’m doing too much for others as an excuse to try to utilize or abuse my God given talents for their own gain.  I challenge you to investigate the true intentions of some in your life.  Be wise.  Don’t throw your pearls to swine.  There are a select few that we encounter who need to see themselves in the mirror and we will be asked by the Father to help them.  Those lessons hurt more on our end, but God will get the glory because we will learn compassion, understanding and patience and they will be grateful when they discover how they’ve been treating people and that God forgives.

I have some horrible memories of times it really used to affect my self-esteem and overall drive.  A year or two ago, in a conversation with a colleague, I was told that people thought I was “all over the place”.   I almost choked from laughing so hard (yeah, it was in his argagface).  Yeah, that may sound harsh, but it’s true.  I was looking in this man’s face thinking, you are one of the main people shoveling things on me to do & you didn’t even come to my defense?  I was curious, what did he say to stand up for how hard I work for other people?  Or did he just hang me out to dry?  Second, why was he telling me this?  Did he think I cared what other people thought about something they knew nothing about?  (I don’t doubt that some of my critics were ones I’d already helped-they were probably mad that I was off helping someone else instead of doing their work.)  Or was he trying to protect me by letting me know what was running through the grapevine?  Either way, it was so out of bounds in my opinion.

I decided to consult someone with a similar personality.  She’d received the same criticism.  From the same type of person.  The type who’ll assign tasks without any consideration for the individuals involved.  We looked at each other & burst out laughing.  After wiping our eyes, we decided to take the mature route.  Screw it all.  I’ll help who I want, when I want, when I’m led to & there’s nothing anyone can do about it.  For those who think I’m random…no, I’m not random.  I’m just a victim of the 80/20 rule.  If you’d like to “cure” me of my randomness, pull up your sleeves & jump in beside me.  Otherwise, shut up & get out of my way.  There’s work to do & obviously some have decided to “delegate” (dump it on others) than get their hands dirty and do it themselves.

This rant may be a bit much for some of you, but did you know that millions of businesses spring forth out of a gripe?  What’s your gripe?  What have you done to deal with it?

It Ain’t Dead Til It’s Dead

tree rootYes I know you just love the grammar in that title! Lol However, that’s not the point! I was sitting on my porch this morning and was just looking and thinking. It was very early and still cool. As I was sitting there, I was looking at the state of my front yard. It’s not good.

Next to me, there was a pot where I had planted some mint. If you know anything about mint, it is extremely aggressive. Well, when I planted it I did not know that. And the lovely person who gave it to me did not inform me of that until after it had overgrown part of my porch and I sought them for help. Anyway, still, that’s not the point. As I was sitting looking at this plant, I noticed that every piece of mint that I had transplanted was dead. Or so i thought.

As I begin to fiddle with the plants, I was debating whether to pull them up by the plant rootroot or snap them off. I heard the familiar voice of the enemy saying, “Why are you pulling them up when you could just snap off the tops? Then you could plant whatever you wanted and it will be easy.” Well, I guess I’ve heard enough lies to know when I’m being told one. I started to pull them up from the roots. Much to my surprise, they were not dead! The roots were still green or at least a pale yellow. Anyone who knows anything about plants knows that all you need is life in the roots in order for a plant to live.  If you don’t believe me, keep cutting off the tops of those weeds in your front yard. You’ll see what I mean soon enough! If you haven’t seen it already! Lol. And isn’t it funny how I would have missed this important lesson if I would have listened to the enemy?

plant root 2Our lives are so much like plants. We draw from our source which is God. We have to stretch out in order to touch those around us. We have to encounter the Son on a daily basis or at least on a regular basis in order to feed. We may have to stand through the wind, rain, snow and storms, but we do stand.  We are those trees planted by the rivers of living water.

Be sure that you evaluate the true state of your life. Be sure to evaluate your circumstances, your dreams and goals. Because they are not dead, you just need to examine the roots! Be sure to speak life to your spiritual ears and eyes so that you can see and hear what the Father does!   Then speak life to everything that is around you, because it ain’t dead til it’s dead!

Love you much,

Tonya

tree root 2

Are you feeling like part of your small business, social media and/or self-publishing is dead? If so, I’m glad to help!  Just contact me with your needs & I’ll help you in any way I can!

Is Your “Or” Keeping Your Boat From Moving?

Yeah, I can spell.  I know the difference between “or” and “oar”.  However, one is a tool and the other can be a hindrance.  When God told us to start a business, we were quick to approach God with “Father, we heard you, but it’s gotta be this way to work or that way to work.”  His response?  Silence.  Not the good kind, either.  Moments turned to months and we couldn’t figure out why nothing was moving forward.  We planned, prayed & prepared, but nothing.

boat with oar 2What was wrong?  We kept using our “or” instead or using our faith as our oar!  For some reason, we as humans have a natural propensity to drop one thing in life to focus on another.  It shouldn’t always be the case.  Yes, we use excuses (“reasons” are what we sometimes call them) to not move on a command the Father has issued, but they are sometimes just reasons not to try.  Jericho had a wall, Goliath was huge, Lazarus was dead.  What excuse do we have not to move forward when we can do all things through Christ?  Or does the scripture say we can do one thing at a time through Christ?

Maybe your “or” is different.  Maybe you’re using the other progress-crippling “or”.  You know, the “or” that haunts you with thoughts of defeat.  “This better workweathered boat OR…”, “You better have this many supporter/dollars/sales OR…”, “You’d better get your life together before you step out there OR…”.  These are all lies of the enemy designed to stagnate, freeze or deceive you.  STOP LISTENING TO HIM.

When Jesus touched people to heal them and set them free, what did he require from each individual?  Money?  To clean themselves?  To be mentally/physically/financially stable?  Be famous?  Be holy enough? I’ll wait…

boatThe only requirement he made was to believe.  He went to many people he healed.  Some were healed by his word alone.  The only one who came to him looking for healing was the woman with the issue of blood (she TOOK her healing).  They all had something in common:

they ALL BELIEVED!

Today I challenge you to seek God about opening your mind and heart to what He’s called you to do.  All He needs is for you to show up.  Think about the situation with Jericho, Goliath & Lazarus.  All Joshua, David & even our beloved Savior Jesus did was show up & let the Father handle the rest.  That’s all that was required then, that’s all that’s required now.  He gives us the vision.  He gives the strength.  He provides the resources.  He handles the HOW.  Just show up & get your “or” out of His way.

boat with oar

If you need help with your business, book or social media oar, contact me.  Your first info session is free.  I can meet with individuals or groups in person or electronically.  Let me help you today!

Until next time, enjoy the life the Father has given you,

Tonya

Why Moms Are Crazy & Easily Provoked

One thing my husband used to say that really rattled my cage was, “Baby, those kids have completely destroyed your mind! With every kid we’ve had, you’ve lost more of your mind.” Shoot, what did he expect? I went from remembering my stuff (when I was single), to remembering our stuff (when we got married), to remembering 5 people’s stuff!!! THAT’S why moms are crazy and easily provoked. We have too much going on to deal with foolishness. So no, people, it’s not all pixie dust and rainbows over here. We’ve got business to take care of!

Ok, let me put my soapbox back in its golden case. You can put your banners and confetti away. But I know you can relate. So here are some cool ideas to keep everything straight and not lose your mind.

Command Station

What’s a command station, you ask? It’s the central nervous system of your house. It’s where each and every member can get and give information and resources for your entire family. Here are some great items to have in your command station.

family calendar (we went from this cute little number to this gargantuan device as we had more children, lol)

2013-09-21_14-47-36_420-12013-09-21_14-48-30_994

chore charts

grocery lists

clips for coupons (form making returns or for doing your budget)

suction cup containers full of white board markers

erasers

magnets

drawers for papers

standing files (perfect for organizing school, health or other records, especially when each child is assigned their own color!)

2013-09-30_17-42-38_47

pouches

crates

shelves

cabinets

carts  (these REALLY saved the day with all of the paperwork sent from school, homework, artwork & books for each child!)

3 drawer cart

notebooks

All of these things are great ways to organize. Don’t forget hooks for keys (great for driving or latch key teens). You can also include pins or pegs for holding items in place or as cute hangers. You can immediately see whose keys are missing and see who is in or out of the house.

Did you enjoy this post?  Well you’ve just read an excerpt from my book, How NOT to Kill Your Kids Before They Turn 18!  This except is just one of the 100+ tips, resources & methods for raising your children without losing sleep, hair or relationship.  To order your copy, order here (Amazon.com) or here (Createspace.com) or use my contact page to request an autographed copy!

absolute final cover

You can also order my first book on Amazon.com or on Createspace.com.  It’s a light, rainy day read that will refresh your heart.

I know you’ll enjoy both.  Thanks again for stopping by to hear me!

XO,

Tonya

Do We “Erase” Our Children?

I had an interesting moment. I went to wash my hands with my favorite new discovery, French milled lavender soap! But what did I find on my little treasure? Someone had taken their little fingernail and engraved a smiley face in my new soap!! >:-(

Yeah, I meant every bit of that super frowny face! Well, for a moment, anyway. If you know anything about French milled soap, one of its best qualities is the fact that it
lasts FOREVER if you use it correctly. So you can’t let it sit in water or it starts to look weird (and gross). It also is a no-no for it to be scratched or get a crack in it. So you could imagine my reaction when I found that my last bar in my stash was being mistreated.

As I began to run my fingers across the offending graffiti, I heard a deep voice from within gently say, “Don’t do that.” I immediately stopped. I heard, ” He put that smile there so everyone after him would see it. If you erase that, you’re erasing the chance for others to see it and smile. It’s like you’re erasing your child when you do that.”

My heart dropped. I not only understood, but I related! How many times has someone undone my good intentions or good works and left me feeling insignificant, overlooked, unimportant and dismissed? Is that what I wanted my child to feel? From his MOTHER? Certainly not. So, I took my fingernail, and to the best of my ability, put that little smiley face right back into my soap. NOW it was perfect. And you know what? Every time I wash my hands with it, I smile. Inside and out. Best of all, I know God is smiling too.
soap 2

When good plans go bad

qDon’t you just love it when you have this great idea, great way to implement it, all the supplies you need, do it & then it fails? Yeah, I don’t either. Well I encountered a similar situation this morning. It was a very simple plan. I’ve reorganized my office so that it actually works no matter what task I’m doing (yay me!!) & went to restock my sticky notes. So I’m off to Dollar Tree (my favorite place to grab stuff & save a TON) to get some.

I look at the available colors (funny how much better my day goes with the right colors around me) & finally decide on a single pack. But then I turn & see another color I’d prefer even more that is a 2 pack! What a deal, right? So I grabbed itnote. Little did I know that the pack I grabbed wasn’t what I thought it was. I get home & don’t look at them until this morning. As I pick it up, something occurs to me-it’s not a 2 pack! It’s some super huge sticky notes!! So what did I do? I knocked myself a bit at first, but then had an idea. Just cut them in half! I whip out my ruler & box cutter & get to measuring. I put notches in the halfway point & spin it around & do the other side. However, there was yet another snag in my plan. When I notched the sides, I didn’t measure from the same end. So I had to choose which notch to follow. The result? I have 3 sets of sticky notes-the extra huge, the normal size & the ones a little smaller. Am I upset? Heck no! Now I have a more versatile pack of sticky notes for the same $1 price!

So what’s the lesson? It may look like an easy situation in the beginning & go bad, but don’t lose heart. Stay calm & an idea may come to you that makes it work out better than you imagined!