Work Traps-How to Spot Them, Avoid Them & Keep your Job! (Part 1 of 7)

You need your job. You have goals, bills, kids, debt or maybe you just like to work. Whatever the reason that you go to work, you should know the 7 major reasons that people get fired (that they can control).  I’ll clue you in so that you can avoid them and keep your job. Do us all a favor and share this list (especially with those in your office who are doing them). Maybe it’ll help your day go a little smoother and someone else will keep their job too!

1.  Complainers

In this day and age, everyone is complaining about their job. However, they don’t always think about how much damage it does. Not only does it put you in a bad light, but it puts everyone else in a bad mood. You know how is, someone comes to you with a gripe and you pile on a few of your own. Sometimes others are around and they pile theirs on, too.  rrrrrrrrrBefore you know it, the general mood is low and no one is having a good day.  After a few days of this, it can put the entire office in a funk. If there is no upswing, then it becomes a place that no one wants to work. Why?  Because no one is operating in a mode of gratitude.

I remember working in offices where people would bring in food for everyone or some cool items they got while on vacation & talk about it with their coworkers. It was awesome! It may not have been everyday, but you knew at least once a week someone would share something cool or yummy that would make coming to work easier. Don’t get me wrong, there can be jobs that make you not want to work there for another second, but in general, there is something good about every job. If it’s not the job itself, it may be the people you work with. If it’s not the people, it may be the commute. If it’s not the commute, it may be the paycheck. It could be any number of things, but find the good thing about your job and focus on that.  There are too many well qualified people out in the world looking for a good job that would just love to have yours. Don’t give your boss a reason to give it to them! 😉

j0302914When I was a manager a few years back, one thing that I would always observe was office morale. The reason was, if there was one whining apple, after a while there would be a bunch.  I did not want my staff miserable, because they would make me miserable. I didn’t want to be miserable, because then I would make everyone else around me miserable. So we would do things to have fun and keep office morale high. Now, I was also accused of “my staff liking me too much”, but I have the least amount of turnover and no one had any bad thing to say about me except the nut that made that comment & the complainers, of course.  But what happened to him?  He complained one time too many about someone at work & was fired.  The sad thing was, he had a valid complaint.  However, the way he voiced it broke the law & it was considered a death threat!  He almost went to jail!!  Thank God a few of us in management decided to come to bat for him so he didn’t end up behind bars.

So when someone comes into your office trying to get you on the bandwagon to “Whinersville”, don’t take the bait!  Find something that will boost office more out that is fun and legal and not offensive.  Be sure to run it by your boss first.  Think about how important your job is.  Think about that one thing we discussed earlier, the one good thing about your job that makes you keep coming.  If you don’t have one, then maybe it’s time for a job change.  But be careful!  Don’t give anyone a reason to let you go before you find your next landing spot.

What do you think about the office whiner?  Are you the office whiner? 

Tonya

 

Next time… “Gossips, the Poison in the Pipeline” Part 2 of my 7 part series.

Work Traps-How to Avoid Them & Keep Your Job (Part 2 of 7)

         Hi everyone!  I hope you enjoyed part one of this series.  If you missed it, you can read it here.  Today I’m off to part 2…Gossips!

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Yeah, gossip isn’t just for teenage girls anymore.  It’s gotten rampant, ridiculous & gone viral!  Between tabloids, social media & reality tv, I think the world has completely thrown out its moral compass.  Ok, there’s a remnant of folks who are trying to hang in there.  But we’re not talking about them.  We’re (ironically) talking about gossipers.  These people are dangerous! They are the ones that can make or break an office in a matter of minutes. Not only do they spread rumors, but the worst of the worst don’t even care if what they say is even true! You can destroy a person’s reputation, credibility and career and it’s almost impossible to restore it once it’s gone.

And let’s be honest, when it’s gossip about you, you wanna do this…

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But if it’s a hilarious piece of gossip about someone else, you feel like this…

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Yeah, a little two-faced, but that’s how it goes sometimes.  So how do you keep yourself out of trouble with this kind of thing at work?  Let’s try the 5 W’s & an H perspective.

Who’s Gossiping?

j0438673The person at work who has nothing better to do.  Well, they have something better to do, but choose to come poison your atmosphere with useless information.  You usually already know who they are, because they’ve already come to your office with “Let me tell you what happened…” or “Did you hear about…” when they should be getting some work done!  And contrary to popular belief, women are not the frontrunners when it comes to gossip.  Nope!  Men are just as bad.  The difference is the delivery.  Women will gossip to either sex, while men are prone to share mainly with other men or their spouse.  But men line up to hear the juice just as much as women do.

What are they gossiping about?

Any bit of information that doesn’t need to hit daylight.  Who did what, when & with whom.  Information that can break up a home, cause an uproar in the community or even create a hostile work environment.  It’s amazing how technology has made us so insensitive to others’ privacy.  It used to be that it took days, weeks or months to hear what others were doing.  Now it’s EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME!  I find myself not watching what this country calls news because most of it just isn’t my business!  Not to mention…WHO CARES?  Some stories are not mine to tell & if I don’t need to repeat it, why hear it in the first place??

I remember in high school people would come to me with garbage all the time.  Who did what, who got pregnant, who stole whose boyfriend, who skipped class, who broke up.  I really didn’t care.  But it did help keep me from putting my foot in my mouth.  Oh, by the way, did you know I hold the running title for that?  Yes.  I’m in Guinness.  Look it up.  I guess that is the only bad thing about not keeping up with the latest gossip.  You look like a jerk when you say something you wouldn’t have if you knew what was going on.  Anyway, I quickly realized that when someone came to me gushing another person’s business, they always wanted to know what I thought.  I’d tell them, it’d get back to them 50 million levels worse that what I’d said & it was a big misunderstanding.  Finally, I got smart.  I said I didn’t know & it wasn’t my business.  For the more aggressive gossips, I let them know I had nothing to say.  When they asked why, I told them that what I thought wouldn’t change the course of their day.  Talk about ticking folks off!  But it got them away from me & they didn’t come back with that mess.

When are they gossiping?

When your guard is down.  When’s that?  When you’re actually trying to get some work done!  Once I was setting up a booth to sell some products.  I was already running late due argagto some minor earthquake, erupting volcano or Armageddon type situation at home.  I needed every second.  That’s when this lady decided to come over & talk about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!  Well, nothing I needed to know about (her sex life, her weight battles & her in-laws’ money).  It’s like she looked for the busiest person in the room & gravitated towards them.  There were no less than 15 other people in the room, but for some reason she felt compelled to come talk to me.  I was so irritated that in my mind I thought, can’t she see how irritating she’s being?!  I know she sees me working.  For Pete’s sake, my face is actually sweating!!  But no, I’m sad to say that she kept on.  After a while I just mentally shut down & went into my practiced responses:  “Oh!”, “Wow”, “That’s awesome”, “Yeah, I know”, “Really?!”, “Well good for you!!”  Eventually she left.  THANK GOD.  Unfortunately, taking the long route of actually interacting with her was my mistake.  I was completely exhausted.  Have you noticed that?  When you have to fight off someone to get your work done, you are worn out!  I guess that’s how the prophet Nehemiah felt when he was building that wall.  A brick in one hand & a sword in the other.  Moving on…

Where are they gossiping?

Anywhere!  Everywhere!  At work, after work, before work.  In the break room, the bathroom, the lobby.  It doesn’t matter.  Just be aware & steer clear so you can keep your nose clean!

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Why are they gossiping?

Because they’re insecure.  They want attention.  They don’t know their own importance or worth.  They want to get ahead in some way.  Or they don’t think about (or remember) how it felt when someone gossiped about them.crying

How are they getting everyone’s business out in the street?

You know the drill.  Someone told them or they read it somewhere.  Then they spread it like fertilizer.  Bill told Sally.  Sally sent Jane an email.  Jane went to Tracy’s work area.  Then your boss gets an email about it & everyone ends up in a workplace training on how to behave like functional adults.

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And that’s the best case scenario!  You could end up sitting before a board explaining your actions or out on the street searching for a new job! 

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Who knows, you new job may not be as good as your old one…

Frustrated Woman at Computer With Stack of PaperAll while those who kept out of it had this kind of day…

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And left work feeling like this

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The best defense in this scenario is not perpetuating gossip.  Even if you hear it in passing, your boss knowing that you didn’t actively participate in passing it on will mean volumes. So be careful, and as the saying goes, keep your eyes open & your mouth shut.  Because you just never know who’ll dish the piece of gossip that’ll sink the ship!

Be among them, but not one of them!

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Next time, we’ll talk about your favorite people at work:  SLACKERS

Until then, take care!

Tonya

 

Featured image was found on Yahoo! using keywords “funny pictures”. 

A Roller Coaster of a Day!

It started like a normal day.  It was going quite smoothly until this afternoon.  It’s still not over.  Have you had one of those days where you wake up refreshed, take on the day & conquer it, but at some point stuff just gets weird?  You know, things you usually rock at become dead ends.  People you can usually contact are completely MIA.  The simplest tasks seem are like putting an octopus in a thimble.  Your patience level drops & a throbbing headache approaches & takes root.  So what do you do?

Me?  I usually long for the loving arms of a nap.  But that isn’t always within my reach.  When I was a kid, my Mom taught me to pinch the bridge of my nose.  Sometimes that does the trick.  One thing that really works?  Smiling or laughing!  Sounds crazy, but even if I don’t feel completely back to normal, it’s a break from feeling awful.  My husband lives by the laughter code.  If he’s had a bad day, I’ll see him come in, plop down in his favorite chair with the remote & say, “I need something to laugh at.”  Works every time!  I just started doing it myself.  I used to come home & watch some romance or drama, but I noticed that I became more stressed waiting for what would happen next.  So instead, I find something ridiculous to watch or think about something funny that happened & before I know it, I’m feeling better!

So I hope you find something funny to laugh at & begin to feel better soon.  Laughter is good medicine & it adds health to your bones!  Here are some good comedic remedies for you…

You Tube (try watching Kid Snippets-OMG….hilarious!)

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I did a random search of funny pictures.  This will keep me busy for hours.  Not to mention, some things I find funny are not funny to everyone (be warned!)

Ok, you had to find at least ONE funny pic in there!  Either way, it’s not too much longer til 5pm.  HANG IN THERE!

*All pictures were found on Yahoo! using keywords “funny pictures”.  Enjoy!

What do we believe?

Over the last few days, I have been having some very interesting conversations. I have heard people make comments that have peaked my curiosity. I’ve heard many people say things like “I am not a good Christian”, “I don’t always do the things I’m supposed to do”, etc.  Comments like these have got me wondering, what exactly is a good Christian? What are we supposed to do? Now, don’t get me wrong. I have walked with the Lord for a long time and have asked Him a lot of questions over the years.  One of them is, “Who do you want me to be?” Another is, “What do you want me to do?”

I got an answer. I keep getting the same answer every time I ask. He tells me,

“I want you to be who I made you to be. I don’t want you to stray from that. I want you to be at peace. I want you to do what gives you peace. I want you to be happy. I want you to take everything that I want to give you. I want you to know who you are.

I want you to see your value. I want you to see your value to the world. I want you to share who you are and who I am with the world. I don’t want you to change who you are to fit into some other mold. The world would corrupt you, mutate you and abuse you before, during and after you changed into what it says it wants you to be.

Instead, use the gifts, talents and abilities that I’ve given you to paint a picture of love. If you’re not sure how to do that, come spend time with me. Just sit and tell me about your day. Tell me how you feel, what you would like to see, what you think about certain situations and if you are patient, I will answer you.

My answer may not come in the form that you expect. It may come through a conversation you’re having with another, it may come on a billboard that finally speaks to you personally. It may come into still quiet voice. It may come in a loving hug from another, or it may just show up one day. Just know that it is from me, and that I love you.

Everything that I do is out of love for you. I literally move heaven and earth on a daily basis to take care of you. I put people and things in your life to help you. I remove things from your life that are hindering you. I do hear what you ask for, but sometimes what you ask for would not help you, but hurt you. Always remember that I will never withhold any good thing from you. Also keep in mind that I know everything that is going on with every person everywhere all the time. If you are asking for something and it is not the proper time for it to occur, you will need to be patient. But don’t feel bad about it, just as you are waiting, I am waiting. Remember that when you are happy, I am happy. So if you have to wait, I do too. I am with you at all times, so I see your smile, your frowns, your irritation, your frustration, your joy, your happiness, your peace. I’m right there with you experiencing it too.

If you are unsure why your life is going the way it is, ask me. I will begin to share with you the secrets of why your life is the way it is. I am loving, caring, interested, present, patient and always here with open arms.

I’m not mad at you.  Once you’ve received my Son as Lord & Savior, you are saved.  I love you & didn’t want to punish you.  All judgement & wrath was put on him because you couldn’t endure it.  I wanted you with me, so I sent him to take your place.  That’s why I made sure you heard about what Jesus did for you.  That’s why it’s so important for you to tell others.  The price has already been paid and all they have to do is receive the gift of salvation.

One final thing, please do not believe that I am outside of you somewhere in the universe. I am everywhere. But know that if you have received my Son, I live inside of you. So don’t believe these false teachings about you having to go somewhere or do something to “find” me. Once you received my Son, I’m with you always. Even when you sleep, while you eat, at work, everywhere you go.

You want to see change?  Only believe. I love you.

Your Abba Father”

I’m studying the book of Ephesians for the next few weeks, and if you’d like to join me I’d love to have you!

Until next time…

Tonya

New Year, New Outlook…

In my neck of the woods, this week it’s back to work, back to school, back to blogging (spoiler! lol) & back to old routines…sort of. With this new year, I’ve decided to change some things, improve some things & ditch some things.

First, I started some “out with the old”.  I took a few hours to go through the family desk & clean it out.  Lord, what in the world?!  It was a hot mess to say the least.  Everyone’s stuff was everywhere without rhyme or reason.  So I started my tried & true sorting method.note

a) pull out everything & pile it up in the middle of the floor (if you skip or alter this step you’ll regret it later)

b) go through 1 piece at a time (assume nothing!  There’s random crap in that pile, I promise you!)

c) create a pile (no matter how thick it may be in the end) for each different area of interest.  We have a few folders that may seem weird like paid off bills, manuals & software & maps.

d) after you’ve gotten to the bottom of the pile, create a folder for each topic.

e) after you’ve created a file folder for each topic, group like folders together.  For example, all utilities together, vehicle stuff (bills, insurance, oil change receipts, etc.) or medical.

f)  label a hanging folder which describes each group.  Then put each individual topic folder within that hanging folder.

DONE!

Ok, enough about that.  That wasn’t even supposed to be covered!  Oh well, free good advice for you today! lol

Anyway, our routine at home will change since I have been given more hours at work.  My overall outlook has changed so I’ll be taking more aggressive& progressive steps in the near future.  Usually I’m all about cutting the fluff so I can be more productive.  I have been dragging my feet in some areas & making excuses so I can keep going with the flow (aka being lazy).  That has gotta stop.  NOW.  For example, my oldest is now 13, so some expectations of him have changed.  I have tired of some former relationships so I will be scaling them back (pruning if you will).  My furniture is driving me nuts so I expect some changes in that area too!

Back to that lazy thing.  It’s been driving me nuts, but I think it’s bigger than that (just being lazy).  A long time ago I was told that I didn’t know how to say “no” to anyone (outside of my immediate family).  Of course I denied it.  In the meantime, I kept donning my superwoman cape & plugging along like no consequences would ever come.  Now, looking back, I see that it wasn’t laziness as much as being burnt out.  By signing up for everything I was approached about I became overextended, tired, irritated, a procrastinator, scatterbrained, an excuse maker, frustrated, & just plain unreliable.

Now not everyone would agree.  But those who’d agree were the ones who goj0302950t the best of me.  You know, those people who’ll call you at a ridiculous time asking you for a ridiculous thing (that they should be doing themselves) & expect it in a ridiculous time frame (that they couldn’t even do).  Then tell you you’re the best & you don’t hear from them until they need another ridiculous thing.  Yes, those lovely people.  For some reason, I find myself helping them from time to time.  But they don’t need help, they need to find someone who is not doing anything & ask them!   And let’s be honest.  They also need a big dose of Jesus…

Don’t get me wrong, I tell people no.  But many people don’t take no for an answer.  Even after you tell them 3 times.  Some people will manipulate heaven & earth to get you to do something for them.  You’d think they’d figure out they could have done it themselves with all the energy they used trying to get you to do it!  It’s insane!!  Which is why I have gone off the radar a few times this year to reset & recharge (& keep from killing anyone lol), but I realize that it’s not enough.  I want this j0399053year to be different.  When I get home I want to have more “left over” for my family.  I don’t want to be mentally & emotionally drained from dealing with crazy people.  I want to go back to when I did things in excellence, not just to get it done & over with.  I want to enjoy more of my life.  Shoot, I’m tired!  You can’t enjoy life tired!

So here’s the world’s fair warning.  I’m gonna say no.  Then I’ll say no again.  Then I’ll say NO & walk off.  Then I’ll block your number.  Then I’ll file a restraining order!  LOLOL  Ok, I hope it doesn’t take all that, but I intend to preserve my life & I’m starting NOW.

And for all those out there like me, I hope you start preserving yours, too!

Take care,

Tonya

PS-A special thanks to those who’ve picked up my most recent book.  Not only am I a wife & mom, but a business woman, educator & a bunch of other stuff.  This book is to all the people out there trying not to die under the avalanche of hats they wear!  lol  Enjoy the tips, inspirations & tricks you’ll find inside & enjoy raising your kids!

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